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If I was a cat, and someone threw me off the roof to see if I would land on my feet, I would flip twice and land on my back. Just to piss them off. – Jaret
Once I was walking under a tree and it dropped an apple on my head…I was sure the motherfucker did it on purpose, so I kicked the tree and broke my big toe…I was afraid of word getting out that I had my ass kicked by an apple tree, so I chopped it down and set it on fire…I am not sure, but I think my reputation spread among the others in the tree community, because I have yet to be hit in the head by falling fruit since – Jaret
